Imagine someone looking you in the eye and saying, “You did such a great job today. That was really impressive.” What’s your immediate response? Probably something like: “Oh, it’s no big deal,” or maybe just an awkward smile as you quietly change the subject. Sound familiar?

Compliments—those seemingly simple, kind-hearted gestures—have a way of stirring up discomfort. We deflect them, downplay them, or ignore them entirely. Giving them can feel just as awkward, like we’re overstepping or risking rejection. But why is that? Why is it so hard to say something nice… or to believe it when someone says something nice to you?

The truth? Compliments are emotionally loaded. They ask us to receive kindness. They ask us to be seen.

Why Do Compliments Matter So Much?

Compliments are more than just feel-good words. They’re small but powerful moments of being seen for who we are, what we’ve done, or how we’ve shown up. For someone struggling with perfectionism, self-doubt, or burnout, that kind of recognition can be a lifeline. It temporarily interrupts a ruminating narrative of “I’m not enough” and then whispers “Or maybe I am.”

Giving a compliment is also slowing down and taking notice. It says, I see you. You matter. And sometimes, that’s exactly what someone needs to hear to keep going.

Compliments Make Us Vulnerable

We don’t talk enough about how we feel when we receive compliments. Maybe incredibly uncomfortable? That’s not because the words are wrong, it’s because they strike something tender. Maybe it’s that inner critic who whispers, “If they only knew the truth about me…” or the old conditioning that taught us to stay humble by never fully accepting praise.

Compliments shine a light on the parts of us we’re still learning to love. When someone sees something good in us before we do, it can feel a little too bright, too soon.

Giving Compliments Can Be Difficult Too

You’d think being the compliment-giver would be easier. But not always. When we offer sincere praise, it’s a tiny act of vulnerability. You’re putting yourself out there, opening a window, letting someone in and telling them how they affected you.

When we give compliments, we’re offering connection. And when it’s met with deflection, it can feel like rejection—even when we know it’s not personal.

So, How Can We Make It Less Awkward?

Here are some things to consider:

When You’re the One Receiving:

• Just say thank you. Even if it feels hard. Let the compliment land, even if part of you isn’t ready to believe it yet.

• Notice what gets triggered. Does praise make you uncomfortable? Why? What stories or expectations might be living under that discomfort?

• Practice receiving like it’s a skill. Because it is. Try this: each time you receive a compliment, take a breath and say, “That means a lot. Thank you.” Even if you don’t fully believe it, let it in a little.

When You’re the One Giving:

• Be sincere and simple. Compliments don’t have to be poetic to be powerful. “I appreciate how you always check in” or “You bring such calm energy to the room” is more than enough.

• Don’t overthink it. If something kind comes to mind—say it. It might be exactly what someone needs to hear.

• Expect nothing in return. Give the compliment because it’s true, not because you need it to be received perfectly.
  
  
  

Compliments as a Path to Connection

Healing doesn’t always come from grand gestures—it often begins with quiet recognitions: You are doing your best. You are showing up. You are growing, even when it’s hard.

Compliments are little invitations into those truths. They build bridges between people, soften the inner critic, and remind us that we don’t have to earn love—we just have to allow it in.

So, this week, try giving one compliment. Let it be honest and kind. And when someone offers you one? Pause. Let it land. Breathe. Say thank you. It might feel unfamiliar at first, but like anything tender and true, it gets easier with time. 

You're worthy of every kind word!